Thursday, April 17, 2008

AVOCADO THIEF - My Gardener



We were wondering why does it look like the tree is bearing less fruit? Wondering and wondering. Then a neighbor gives us the heads up. Our gardener is stealing our avocados. He walked out with boxes (plural) is what we heard. On Tuesday, I wasn't in, Martin was out, and no one was around when Mr Nishi decided to rack avocados. Evidently he told our neighbor that we don't pick them, and they will fall on the roof and damage the roof, which would be a lie. When they fall on the roof, the slope places them on the backyard lawn. I go on the roof often and seldom are any sitting on the roof, as a matter of fact, hardly any fall at all, on the roof or not. 

I told him that we use the avocados at gr/eats and not to take them when I caught him about two years ago. He gets paid to do the cheap "BLOW MOW AND GO" as coined by the gardener I interviewed in a previous issue of Giant Robot magazine. Even with the many bald spots in my lawn, I never complain. And stealing fruit like this, especially when I told him not to, bad move. 

The avocado tree is a symbol of my own patience. My house and this tree are old timers, and avocados usually happen once every two years. It's a joy to have them for gr/eats, guests, friends, whoever, but for me to pay someone to steal them? That's pretty low and classless. If he asked, I'd have given him some, but for him to go onto my roof and steal boxes? That's a low blow. 

That's what his invoice looks like in my trash. My Japanese American Gardner, time to say sayonara, even if you're a childhood friend's dad. I'll show him face by not calling him out. But if he wants his money, it's going to take a conversation to make it happen. Until then, we're even.



In all three languages that we and they engage in any kind of communication.

See the tool? That's actually me picking avocados today. I picked 12. 

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohhh come on. You know how hard it is to find a JA gardner? One thing to take a bag full but a box. I don't blame you, because you are using them for a business. That's profits going away!!

9:33 PM  
Blogger St. Paco said...

"If you want beef then bring the ruckus /Eric Nakamura ain't nuthin' to f*ck with"

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Eric, are you in NY yet? If not, can you bring some from your tree? Seriously

6:07 AM  
Blogger Jeff Soto said...

People really want the avocados! We had some nice avocados at our last place we lived at, and I caught the neighbor kids picking them in our backyard on day. I told them not to, and then a few weeks later the kids were back, along with two women and some babies. They came armed with plastic bags and had a ton of avocados. When I confronted them (by pounding on the windows and staring at them with the meanest look I could muster haha) they looked like I scared the bejesus outta them, and they took off very quickly. Every other week I'd catch them, and they'd always smile and act like they couldn't speak english. We told the landlord and they put a fence in finally, but fuck, people love avocados! And they'll trespass, steal, whatever it takes. I'm looking for a good place to steal them myself... anyone know any good spots in Riverside?

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Takin' ninja to new heights.

I crack myself up

3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do the Avocados damage your roof at all? they are a heavy fruit. do the falling avocados create a problem.

i planted 2 Avocado trees about 8 feet away from the house, should i worry?

12:35 PM  

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