The ongoing saga of my plumbing. The picture below says it all. When I last left off, I had found out that the shit pipes from my house goes under my neighbor's driveway. It's broken in the worst spot possible. Right in front of my neighbor's door. The options are to jackhammer the driveway, and get it fixed, but what if it breaks again next year or next week? Option 2 is to repipe. Right now I'm getting quotes, and taking a shit is still a hardship.
MAYBE better than driving to one of the stores before I even brush my teeth in the morning to take a dump, I can now, walk outside to my own driveway, and hop into this blue national brand portashitty and take a dump. There's no hiding that my neighbors give me a grin when they see my coming out, but it's ok, what else can I do?
I bought a cheap padlock to prevent strangers from taking a dump in my toilet, and when I use it, I try to open the combo lock as fast as I can. It does feel ridiculous standing in front of the door hunched over to unlock a door, especially when you have to take a shit. It's also important for me to bring that padlock inside with me. What if some ass locks me in?
MAYBE better than driving to one of the stores before I even brush my teeth in the morning to take a dump, I can now, walk outside to my own driveway, and hop into this blue national brand portashitty and take a dump. There's no hiding that my neighbors give me a grin when they see my coming out, but it's ok, what else can I do?
I bought a cheap padlock to prevent strangers from taking a dump in my toilet, and when I use it, I try to open the combo lock as fast as I can. It does feel ridiculous standing in front of the door hunched over to unlock a door, especially when you have to take a shit. It's also important for me to bring that padlock inside with me. What if some ass locks me in?
posted by gr @ PERMLINK: 11:37 AM
4 Comments:
that is horrible. i feel so bad for you.
Turn it into a marketing tool.. Just leave the lock off and a copy of the latest issue inside.
Don't feel bad, darlin'! Yer livin' down-home style-- everyone who's anyone roun' these partsbin doin' it fer years! Yeehawww!
Also, good to take your cell phone in there, too, in case you accidentally leave the lock outside one of these days. Just don't drop it in the shithole, you'll be really mad at yourself!
It's unfortunate in this day and age when an owner of such a successful magazine can't shit in peace. The neighbors are jealous. They hate you because of your freedom. Best thing to do would be to throw some poultry in the shitter with you.
Remember what Herbert Hoover said: "A chicken in every pot to piss in."
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